It is in loving memory of Dean Willows that Willy’s Wings has been created.

Dean “Willy” Willows was so much more a man diagnosed with Melanoma - The Beast. He was the most wonderful, loving, caring and devoted husband and a loving, warm hearted, hands on dad and step dad. He was a caring and loving son and brother. A true mentor and friend to many.

No words have been spoken so true as to say to know Willy was to love him. His caring and giving personality set him apart from so many. Always putting everyones needs in front of his own was first nature to him. He had the most amazing attitude and spirit, even when faced with a terminal diagnosis. He was a man of many talents. He was the life of any gathering, the comforter, the realist, the thinker, the protector, the peacemaker, the joker, the helper, the list is endless. He was just one of those one in a million outstanding men.

Known by many as “The Legend” he left a legacy behind that will carry us through life until we are together again. Our very special angel watching over us from above.

We live life watching those around us go through trials and tribulations thinking it will never happen to us. Well we learned first hand that it can happen to us because it did. We never want to be sitting in a room with a physician and hear the word that changes our lives forever - CANCER. Unfortunately there are more and more people every day hearing that life changing “C Word”.

How can one word change our lives so tremendously? Trust me it does. Have you ever thought about what you would do if you heard that word, of course not, as none of us ever want to think it will be us. I only hope that if I am every faced personally with that diagnosis I can face it with the same courage, dignity and hope that my soul mate did. He taught us all how to live and how to die. A true gift and a wonderful example of who he was - a true disciple of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Willy was our hero, a husband to Cindy, a dad to Anna Willows, stepdad to Ashley Freeberg, and Brianne Freeberg, son to Jane Willows and Dick Willows, brother to Dee Kinnitschke and Doug Willows and family and friend to hundreds when he entered eternal life.

Our journey began on November 1, 2006. After 10 days of a terrible headache, Willy finally agreed to go to the ER. CT Scan of the brain showed multiple bleeds but unclear diagnosis. After enduring several different scans and tests and no definate answers and his conditioning progressivly declining, the decision was made to transfer him by ambulance to St Mary’s Hospital in Rocherster, MN.

We arrived at Rochester about 5pm on November 7. They immediately began running tests. They had ideas but nothing concrete. Within 18 hours of our arrival to St Marys he turned critical and underwent emergency brain surgery on November 8, 2006. He had a large mass on the cerebullum which was starting to press on the spinal column and needed to be removed immediately. The results we received were wonderful - BENIGN, diagnosis Cavernous Malformation.

He recovered from his first surgery with no problems. Because of another area of concern and multiple bleeds in the frontal lobe he was schedule to return to St Mary’s for a second brain surgery in approximately 3-4 weeks. The plan was to remove the cavernous malformations in the frontal lobe to avoid additional bleeding and increased risk of additional complications.

After his first surgery, Willy told me he was very nervous about the second surgery and when I asked him why he told me he just had a bad feeling that this one would be his death sentence. We brushed it off to nerves.

On the morning of December 7, 2006 as they wheeled him away from me and I kissed him and told him good luck, I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this day our lives would change forever. Not sure what it was and brushed it off to nerves again. The feelilng stayed in the pit of the stomach and the hours were very long as we waited to meet the surgeon after surgery.

As if it was just yesterday, I remember the nurse walking us down to a conference room in the basement to meet with Willy’s surgeon. Willy was in recovering and doing well and he had no idea how much our lives were about to change. I knew the moment Dr Wetjen walked in the room by the look on his face and when he asked me to sit down that the news was not good. He said that the surgery went well, unfortunately the mass the removed was suspicious of Metastatic Melanoma. My heart sunk and my body went numb - there was no way my husband could have cancer let alone Melanoma. Melanoma is a skin cancer and they were doing surgery on his brain.

I work for doctors so unfortunately I understood the term metastatic - it had spread and this was not good. I really did not ask many questions was just in shock. The wait to see him after recovery was forever. I asked one of the nurses - “who will tell him it is cancer?” She told me if I wanted them to they would be happy to and I said I thought that would be best. From the moment I heard I knew that meant that it was and that was why he had the feeling he did and that is why I had the pit in my stomach.

I was finally able to go see him in ICU after surgery and when I walked in the room he looked at me and said “Honey, be honest what did they find.” At that very moment I knew that I had to be the one to tell him. As I explained to him what they had told me he looked at me and told me I must have misunderstood the doctors. I tried to stay positive and tell him that it would be a few days before final path and so that there was no need for us to worry until we knew for sure.

The problem is in our hearts, we both did know for sure. Dr VanGompel, our other neurosurgeon, came into the room and you could tell by the look in his eyes he was still in shock with the results and we had a great discussion. He did tell Willy that what I had told him was correct and then Willy asked how bad is it. At that moment we were told it was terminal and that we needed to make the most of the next year. We were so thankful for the honesty but we were in shock.

It is unbelievable how one word changes your life forever!

After additional testing to find out where the Melanoma started, everything came back clean, we will never know the primary source of his cancer and in all honesty it did not matter. There was nothing we could do to change the diagnosis we could only decide how we were going to handle it.

We came home and took some time to absorb what we had just learned. Back to Rochester the end of December for a PET Scan to see if there was any additional Metastisis. PET Scan revealed additional Mets to the brain, the adrenal gland, multiple small pebbles in the small bowel that were suspicious and a very small spot on the liver as well.

On January 3, 2007 we met with our oncologist , Dr Denise Snow at Roger Maris Cancer Center here in Fargo. She was wonderful and was very upfront and honest with us. She never once kept us in the dark of the reality of “The Beast”.

We made the decision to do treatment and completely understood that we were doing treatment to prolong quality of life only, that his cancer was terminal. Willy faced his diagnosis with nothing but courage and strength. We accepted that this was Gods plan for us and that we did not like it but that there was nothing we could do to change it.

When you receive a Cancer diagnosis you have a choice to live with it or die from it - Willy chose to live with it. He began chemo and radiation on the brain and had tremendous results. Unfortunately he encountered several complications along the way as “The Beast” continued to travel throughout his body.

In February he was admitted to the hospital for a week due to a hemorrahge on the adrenal gland. The tumor on the adrenal gland had almost tripled in size since the Dec PET Scan. Because of this set back our chemo program was changed.

Got back on track and then in April he was once again admitted to the hospital this time due to an obstruction from increased Mets on the small bowel that caused a type of obstruction. They removed 8 inches of his small bowel. He healed and back on track with chemo.

Continued problems and more scans showed that the chemo was not working at all internally and on June 26, 2007 we made the decision that it was time to stop all treatment and enjoy the quality for the time that we had left.

We never gave up HOPE but we never denied the reality of this disease. We cherished out time together and made memories that would last forever. We all prepared for what we knew would happen, when God was ready Willy would be called Home and we would be left behind.

Our family grew so much throughout our cancer journey. We learned to appreciate life and enjoy what we have, take nothing for granted. Willy was never afraid to die. Even before his diagnosis he would always say that we live and we die and he was going to enjoy life until he was called to the Big Truck Stop in the Sky. He gave all of us the courage and strength we needed to deal with the journey that God had us on and because of his courage and strength we were able to survive.

We were able to plan his funeral together. Together we picked out the readings he wanted, the music he wanted, we wrote his obituary, we picked out his casket, he picked out his clothes, he told me what color flowers he wanted, he picked out his pall bearers. This was a gift that he gave us that was the most wonderful gift as when his time would come it would be personal and all about him.

We both have always believed that our lives and the day we are called Home is pre-planned. It is all part of God’s ultimate plan. Giving our journey to God is what sustained us through the roller coaster that this journey put us on.

At the young age of 52, Dean “Willy” Willows earned his angels wings and entered Eternal Life on August 24, 2007, 8 1/2 months after being diagnosed with Metastic Melanoma. He never once asked Why Me - what a true hero!

When he was alive he and I discussed how together we would form an organization that would promote awareness and educate the public on Melanoma.

In honor of him and in his memory Willy’s Wings has been created. Through this journey Willy taught us all how to live and how to die. He taught us how even in the face of death you can enjoy life and still live.

The legacy he has left behind will live on forever.

DEAN "WILLY" WILLOWS
February 6, 1955 - August 24, 2007

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